You Are The Writer

I mentioned on the previously page that I am new to the writing field and went through many drafts of the book before I considered it suitable for publishing.

I spent a great deal of time learning how to describe a scene that was visually accurate, but also allowed the reader to feel a sense of the place.

The picture below shows the house where Kim’s husband grew up and incidentally, is the house where I spent my childhood until age 7.  Next to it is the description from the book.

Can you write a better description?  What would you say to make this scene come alive?

Please comment.

 Fred, Ruth, and Jim grew up in a typical one-and-a-half story Milwaukee bungalow. The half story consisted of an A-framed attic with a finished bedroom in the front, above the porch. The porch was large and welcoming, and once you stepped inside, the hardwood floors and beautifully crafted wood cabinets made you feel at home.